See that beautiful face in the picture? See how adorable he is? Keep that in mind when reading this post!
Living and caring for Joel means that sometimes, you will have to put up with his crap. I mean literally. Literal crap… poo-poo.
He used to have way more frequent accidents when was younger, and naturally, as he got older, he got better. I’ve mentioned in previous posts, about how it took so long to potty train him and how my mom had to go to the school a lot to change him or pick him after an accident.
Thankfully, the last time he had an accident in school I believe he was in 6th grade. I remember going with my mom to pick him up from school that day and he looked so sad and alone in the office. My poor little one. Knowing what I know, I would’ve argued about the para or nurse not cleaning him up. You’d think that if they go into this field they’d know or at least be kind enough to clean up our loved ones up after accidents but… NO!
The point I want to get, however, is the messes Joel leaves at home. Although I would say that, technically, he hasn’t had a real accident in years, he has had messes. My definition of accident is him pooping in his pants nowhere near the toilet. I don’t count it as an accident if he’s trying to get tot he toilet. To me, the terminology is important because I want him to know he’s doing a great job and not to focus on accidents. He truly does get very disappointed in himself and cries. And if I get mad at him for his “almost making its” and/or his accidents, it makes it worse. He’ll not only cry but get angry and throw things or hit.
If you are easily grossed out, stop reading here! I’m serious, it gets gross!
One night about 2 years ago I woke up to Joel silently calling me from the bathroom. Who knows how long he had been calling me, but when I finally got there was a trail of poop on the carpet from his room leading to the bathroom. When I got in the bathroom He was desperately trying to clean up the mess he had left and trying to clean himself in the shower. He was obviously sick and didn’t make it to the toilet. Unfortunately, he made it everywhere else. There was poop all over the toilet bowl dripping unto the floor, poop on the shower curtain, bathroom rugs, towels, and the bathtub. It was such a horrific crime scene. I did get mad at first and yelled and even threatened to go get the parents instead. But after seeing him cry and his efforts to clean it up, I felt bad and woke my sister up to help me clean everything and bathe him. After getting the bathroom and Joel settle I cleaned the trail he left behind and checked his room and bed for more poop. Sure enough, there was more cleaning to do.
This was definitely the worst it has ever been.
Usually, he may have a mess like once or twice a month that is nothing like the one I just mentioned. That was just horrific. Usually its a few drops of poop on the bathroom floor or on unusual spots on the toilet. Occasionally he’ll leave a trail from his bed to the bathroom but that’s rare. It’s all still really gross. We still have to check his booty after he uses it because he doesn’t always do a good job of cleaning himself. It’s gotten harder to help him because he wants to be independent and doesn’t want to let us in the bathroom. Which is completely understandable but I’d rather check him and clean him if needed than for him to get a rash or boils and be stinky.
It’s a struggle, but anything for my boy. Sorry, this was a gross post!! We’re here to share the good, the inspiring, and the crappy of life with down syndrome. Hopefully, at some point, we’ll reach full dependency in the bathroom. Until then, we’ll it take it as it goes.