A supportive family makes all the difference, along with early intervention. I want to share something that may be offensive and it’s not my intention to do so but I think it’s important.
There’s someone I’ve worked with who we’ll call Minnie. Minnie has down syndrome, is non-verbal, and she’s also dealing with the effects of ageing. I love seeing her and working with her but she’s very mean and aggressive. She is very delayed and does not possess many skills at all. Nothing seems to amuse her except combing her old teddy bear and pacing the halls. She barely sleeps and doesn’t let anyone touch her.
Minnie comes from a family that did not provide the appropriate supports for her growing up. Whatever the reason was, I don’t know… negligence, ignorance, fear, who knows. But I do know that if she would have had interventions, things would be different.
She currently lives alone with staff constantly changing and minimum visits from family. Staff isn’t always the nicest and can be lazy. The house is in bad repair and tiny. She rarely goes out. The family drives away good staff and is always stopping her from getting services and refuses doctor visits and treatments. She did not get much of an education. But I do not doubt that she is loved.
Minnie’s family is not super involved but the involvement they do have is misguided. Ultimately the choices that are have been made for Minnie and continue to be made just cause more harm than good. I’m sure that the family loves her and want the best, but what is best? I’m not saying I’m an expert or that I know best… but here are my thoughts.
Now Minnie’s parents are not alive and she has a lot of siblings who take turns visiting her. As a sibling myself, I cannot imagine being the kind of sibling that leaves them behind like that. I know all families are different and there definitely are families that really can’t take care of someone with a disability… but I just can’t imagine thinking that Joel is better off living away from us and that strangers can take care of him better than we can. I love him so much.
In today’s day in age with so many studies and advocacy work, I feel like there is no excuse to think seclusion is best practice or to send people like Minnie and Joel away. But it still happens… a lot.
Minnie’s life is honestly sad to me and it’s not her fault at all. She grew up in a time where institutionalizing was the norm and schools were not required to teach students with disabilities. Her family was not educated about inclusion, ADA, and all that good stuff. We are still dealing with the remnants of the generation before IDEA and most of those families have no idea how to deal take care of their loved one with a disability… then add the effects of ageing too. Thank goodness things have changed and continue to change for the better.
Saving down syndrome is an ongoing task and we will not stop shouting their worth!