Sometimes Joel is very affectionate.(:
Not to brag or anything, but Joel has always been very attached to me and has a hard time when I travel without him. I think he’s gotten better than in previous years.
The worst was two years ago when my sister and I left for a week long trip to Guatemala and my family dropped me off at the airport. My parents like to walk me in and see me off and they always bring Joel even though he gets very mad. Well that particular time he got physical and threw himself on the ground and and hit my parents. The last time I left the country, I had to leave without him noticing.
Although… Joel is very nosy and always following me around. I usually pack my things days in advance and he’ll see my bags and constantly ask where I’m going. What really breaks my heart is when he’ll get his own bag and pack too. Other times he gets it and will try to help me pack by bringing me random items.
Once I’m gone, he’ll send some mean emojis and after a day or so he’ll be okay and try facetiming multiple times. It’s so cute and it makes me miss him so much. When I call home when I’m away, my mom always that joel will stand in the middle of the stairs or in my room saying “emelas” which is his way of saying “gemelas” which is Spanish for twins. (In case you didn’t know I’m a twin.)
Right now I’m in Austin for a work trip and he didn’t realize I wasn’t home. He called me and asked me to bring me home some McDonald’s. After the first night he got it and started sending videos of himself, ya know… in case I forgot what he looks like.
Joel can be mean but he can also be so sweet and loving. I always say I want to leave Louisiana but I don’t think I can survive very long without him.
Joel posing so proudly after his first season with Miracle League Basketball with his best bro 🙂
This is something about that I mentioned in my other post: Comparing. When going to all these event Joel is involved with now I noticed the cliques for parents.
In our case, I’m usually the one to take joel to his events. Sometimes my mom and sister tag a long but for the most part, it’s usually just me. So, maybe the reason I don’t fit in any of these cliques is because I am not a parent. Regardless the cliques exist and bother me. I’ll use Joel’s baseball games with the Miracle League as an example. I chose this one because for some reason, the cliques are so much more predominant during these games. I really don’t know why but they are.
The cliques are divided by race and class. Sadly…
All of the parents of players who are in private school all sit together and talk to only each other. I clearly remember only one instance when one of these parents talked to me. All this person asked me was what grade is Joel in. When I answered she said, “Oh, I haven’t seen him. He goes to blank (I won’t say the name of the school) right.” I answered no and said he goes to public school. That was the last time I ever spoke to one of them beside the occasional hello.
Not to sound racist or ugly, but all the parents of the players that go to private school happen to all be white. So on one side, it is all white “richer” people. Then there’s the white parents of players that don’t go to private school on another side. So even the white families are divided. And then there’s the families of color who do not fit into any of these categories are dispersed among the bleachers by their lonesome. To be far, there a lot less colored families but for some reason, no one in these categories mix with each other. There the occasional side conversation between everyone but it always goes back to the cliques.
It shouldn’t bother me, I mean I am not there for them, I am there for my brother. This is just an observation I’ve made and hopefully it’ll change.
A couple of weeks ago we went to the beach for the day. If you don’t know Joel, he LOVES the water. It’s so hard to get him out once he’s in. He’ll yell and hit and push us when we try to get him out. Usually after some struggling, we can get him out. Luckily he usually stays close to the shore, but this time he was more gutsy.
My dad joined us this time for the trip and took joel further out with him. No problem with that until we got out of the water for some snacks and my dad never got back in. Joel was thinking hey, my dad let me go far so I can do it again. By the way, my mom and I are very short and not very good swimmers… we couldnt go as far as my dad did. And I have a huge fear of deep water. If my feet can’t touch the ground I panic.
For some reason, he didn’t go that far until we were trying to leave. I was tying to hold his hand and pull him in, and he’d resist and get further away. My feet couldn’t feel the sand and I was so nervous that he’d get way too far me. I could see him struggle and get scared when the waves would get too high and I saw him inhale water. But the more I tried to pull him in, the more he put up a fight.
There was a man right next to us who refused to help by the way! Ugh!!! Anyways, my mom came to help but she’s just as week and nervous as me. But slowly somehow we got him close to shore. There Joel decided to push me and yell at me and cause a scene. My dad finally showed up and showed Joel his laser tag card and he yell “yay!” And got out… that’s all it took.
Fast forward a couple of weeks to now, I am currently in Guatemala serving in an orphanage with an awesome group. We got together one night for an amazing bonfire worship. One of the songs that we sang was You Make Me Brave. I always loved this song but that night God used it for more than just a good song. I was getting all kinds of emotional throughout the night but while I was talking to a few people afterwards, I began to see the ways God makes me brave in situations like this that I didn’t really think about. I’m scared of deep water but I remained by Joel’s side because God gives me the bravery I need to be there for him in situations where I probably couldn’t do the same for myself or others.
As a result, Joel has an ear infection because of the all the water that got in. He also may not be going to the beach anytime soon. My poor baby…
So my family hosts a home group every Friday in which some people from church come over and study the bible to together and what not. Usually at the end of each night, people tell the group if they have a prayer requested or they have something to share.
On last Friday a lady had something we wanted to share. Apparently she had asked the group if they would join her in prayer for a pregnant friend who was told by doctors that her baby might have down syndrome and they wanted to run more test. — That’s understandable. But what she wanted to share was that God is so good because it turns out that the baby doesn’t have down syndrome. Apparently the doctor made a mistake, but thank God the baby is okay. Okay? So a baby with down syndrome is not okay?
I immediately looked at my parents when she said this but they seemed to not be bothered by it. But I was so shocked that she said that. She knows she is in the home of someone with down syndrome. She spoke her words with such confidence and pride that God had answered her prayer. That was so merciful because he didn’t give that baby down syndrome. So, what does she think of my family? Does she think it’s a curse or a punishment? Should we be grieving that Joel has down syndrome? Should we not be grateful to God that Joel has down syndrome?
My parents reaction left me a little upset at them. How did they not say something? How did they just look at her and nod? I was going to say something, and maybe I should’ve, but I didn’t. I don’t know if my parent felt what I did, I feel like they should have, but who am I say this? I did mention the situation to my mom the next day and all she said was yeah, this lady doesn’t know. That’s it. I don’t know what I expected. I’m not trying to make my parents look bad. They just have different views, grew up in a different time and in a different country. I know they love Joel and protect him, and I know I am not a parent, but I felt strongly about this and I felt they should have too.
All I will say now is I Thank God Joel has down syndrome. I know it may not be something people ask for but I am happy God gave us Joel. I know all of our lives would be completely different if he didn’t have down syndrome. I am grateful that he was created this way. No pity, no prayer requests on changing this, no.
Here’s an old picture of Joel, ain’t he cute! A little background on this picture:
Joel was definitely not my comforter when this picture was taken. I was in high school at the time and my sister and friend decided to go to Celebration in the Oaks which is a Christmas event in New Orleans’ City Park. Joel loves going, especially the musical part. When we reached the musical part, Joel loved it so much that he refused to leave. He got so mad that I was telling him it was time to move on. We had already spent too long there but he was having so much fun dancing. It was getting late and Joel wouldn’t stop dancing so I went up to him, grabbed his hand and said let’s go. At that moment my life flashed before my eyes. (kidding, I’m exaggerating but still!) He had hit me, pushed me down and scratched my neck really hard. He immediately felt horrible and began to cry saying sorry over and over again. At least he agreed to leave after that.
Joel has always been my comforter. Despite what I have said in previous posts and above ^^, at home Joel is usually pretty loving and affectionate most of the time. He’s always going in for hugs and kisses and as he’s grown older his hugs have gotten more intense and sweeps us off our feet.
Some of the sweet ways he comforted me was through the years:
- Random foot massages. This instance I was doing homework.
- Joel always stands up for me when I argue with our parents. I know I probably shouldn’t encourage this but he’s too cute and I love that he chooses my side! He tells my parents to shut up when they raise their voice at me and holds my hand when this happens.
- He gets very concerned when I cry. When he notices that I am crying, he slowly walks close to me and stares at me a bit, then asks “Why?” or “What happened?” Then he’ll wipe my tears and try to make me laugh or distract me by bringing out UNO.
Joel is my comforter and I love him for that and many other reasons!